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the waft

I have found my hidden talent! Apparently, I have the ability to smell Ryan’s farts right as they are coming out of his ass(i am just so excited to have this fantastic ability). Yet he still feels the need to waft them up to me. i’ll agree that the sound of farts is funny, no matter how old you are they will still make you giggle, but the smell? is that really something to be proud of? Men…. interesting creatures.

Why are we getting married now?

Why are we getting married so young? I don’t know about Sarah but I get this question all the time, especially from family and close friends (usually older). I preface all my answers with, “because it’s my life and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”. Honestly, I don’t ever mind answering.
The biggest problem everyone seems to have is I’m unemployed. Yes I make some money online building sites and what little “word of mouth” consulting I get, but basically I’m unemployed.

I just graduated from university and am waiting to get hired as an air traffic controller through the FAA. The reason I’m not worried about getting a job is I scored 100% on the FAA’s ATSAT, which is basically an aptitude test for aviation and air traffic control… I am guaranteed a job! People say I’m too laid back and not worried about funding a job, they’re right. 6 months I’ll be half way across the country with a great job.

The internet and my afternoon

Oh my has it been an interesting day. I want to start off by saying the time is flying by for some reason..

So first I get a call from someone I’m building a website for and they need it up asap.. which is fine because Sarah is at work and I have all day to fuck around on my laptop. Then my dad starts talking about draining the pool or some shit and I tell him I’m too busy working to sit in front of the pool, pick my teeth and watch the pool drain, but he tells me to turn on the pump anyways… (flooding).. Well, after he gets back from whatever he’s doing the water is at the bottom of the tile and he’s fllippin shit because pumps are hard to replace or something. Here’s the interesting part, he tells me I’m stupid because my fancy college education didn’t prepare me for (wait for it) draining pools….

After that interesting bit I start working on thewebsite for my friend who sells Jet fuel in Anchorage. This biggest reason for the very simple website is to stream jet fuel prices from ITAT and platts. I figure I can just write a script to pull the prices from their public site twice a day or something. But no, they have some kind of, “if you want fuel prices you have to come to our website,” bullshit which doesn’t make any scene because they have no advertisements, no redirects, no popups… ITAT literally will make no money from my going to their site every day to update fuel prices…

So the fun begins.. I get into their server (not really) and found the java script files they’re using to update prices and everything. Only problem is, it’s only half of what I need… As I’m decompiling these java classes one very interesting line turns up basically pointing to a public table it’s pulling all of these numbers from… where is that table? who the fuck knows.. it points to nothing… absolutely nothing… I honestly think that someone logs into their server every day and updates the values by hand. To fuck with everyone hoping to auto-update their sites too, he throws a bunch of scripts that look legit but actually do nothing… so.. where does that leave us? up the creek without a paddle.. someone is going to have to update all this shit by hand every day.